going back to a simpler time and place,
cause I'm starting to feel numb to things,
I used to feel alive.
I see things here and don't feel it. feel maybe 60% of what I see. I used to feel things intensly. Joy and contentment at seeing the bikes swarming the street ahead of me, peace when I'd be on a rooftop or floating on my back staring and praying to the sky, feeling of appreciation for being so aware of what I was experiencing at a certain time, feeling of lonliness and strength and will to get through, feeling of heartache at losing close friends and the impermanence of life, feeling of uplifting melancholy at seeing the people laughing and smiling while sweeping the street. the lone lottery seller or noodle boy. the flower girls. the sweet communication in their eyes. no words necessary.
It seems so distant now. I can recall feeling so intensly, but can't conjure up those same feelings. so distant. I hesitate to think I know what to expect. the impermanence of life.